From mailer.acns.fsu.edu!usenet.ufl.edu!tcad.ee.ufl.edu!usenet.eel.ufl.edu!news.uoregon.edu!vixen.cso.uiuc.edu!newsfeed.ksu.ksu.edu!moe.ksu.ksu.edu!osuunx.ucc.okstate.edu!tclark Sat Sep 10 13:17:08 1994 Newsgroups: alt.music.nin Path: mailer.acns.fsu.edu!usenet.ufl.edu!tcad.ee.ufl.edu!usenet.eel.ufl.edu!news.uoregon.edu!vixen.cso.uiuc.edu!newsfeed.ksu.ksu.edu!moe.ksu.ksu.edu!osuunx.ucc.okstate.edu!tclark From: tclark@osuunx.ucc.okstate.edu (Timothy Clark) Subject: join me in the Buttfuck Parlour, honey Message-ID: Organization: Oklahoma State University Computer Center Date: Thu, 8 Sep 1994 22:35:14 GMT Lines: 60 This song was uncovered recently on an ancient BFPT release, Stranded in Jardot. Real life inspiration apparently was provided by Trent's increasing irritation with being the only guy with a car and ending up driving everywhere as his friends' cars didn't have alternators that worked or smoked out of their airboxes or both simultaneously in one specific case. auto self destruct i am the rover in your shed (and i won't drive you) i am the fiat that is red (and i will strand you) i am the norton that you ride (and i will throw you) i am the leak that tries to hide (and i defy you) don't take you where you want to go i only motor way too slow i grind the gears i burn the clutch auto self destruct i wreak transmission's demise near (and i short shift you) i am the semi near your rear (and i will nudge you) i am the tires that have gone bald (i aquaplane you) i am the rabbit that you mauled (and i will haunt you) don't take you where you want to go i only motor way too slow i grind the gears i burn the clutch auto self destruct you let me do this to you don't take this exit i am the needle in your tach (i overrev you) i am the aching in your back (i don't support you) i am the ergonomic horror (i will perplex you) i am the oilchange you ignore (and i will seize you) i am the backfire like a gun (incomplete combustion) i am the car that will not run (alternator's busted) i am the silence in the streets (i left you skulking) i am the shoes that fit your feet (and i start walking) don't take you where you want to go i only motor way too slow i grind the gears i burn the clutch auto self destruct "Ladies and Gentlemen, Tortelvis has left the building." the stupid thing won't let me attach my normal .sig as I included the above already prepared, so I'll leave you with the following: "Study our SubGenius 'literature' closely. Keep it by your toilet and memorize it. If you aren't as dense as most people, you'll quickly realize that, cheesy scam though it _might well be_, the Church of the SubGenius is just about the only organization around that can...have a direct etheric hotline to space god _Jehovah 1_ through our infra-psychic trance-babbling Personal Savior, _J. R. "Bob" Dobbs_-who is actually a pretty regular guy, just very rich and possessed by forces greater than Man." -from a Church of the SubGenius flyer