From mailer.acns.fsu.edu!usenet.ufl.edu!clas.ufl.edu!usenet.cis.ufl.edu!caen!burs20.ccs.itd.umich.edu!Buck Fri Oct 14 13:21:02 1994
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From: Buck Satan <Buck@RevCo.Ministry.COM>
Newsgroups: alt.music.nin
Subject: New BFPT Bootleg!
Date: 8 Oct 1994 05:52:07 GMT
Organization: 1000 Homo DJs
Lines: 176
Distribution: world
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X-XXDate: Sat, 8 Oct 1994 05:52:57 GMT

Well, I can honestly say I never expected to run across THIS. . .

I bought it from an old man in a little underground Curiosity Shop.  He
told me not to get it wet or feed it after midnight, but he says that
about everything.  I think the guy's a little nuts. . .

Anyway, he took out this cardboard box that was full of various sexual
aids and a rubber mouse that said "Fuckchop" on it.  Also inside was an
old and well worn enema bag with the letters "bfpt" stained on the side
with the blood from the mohawk kid's penis/bobbit.  Inside the enema bag
was my prize: an LP of sorts that held unreleased studio tracks from the
early days of BFPT. . .

I'm sure I got the only album in existence because it was sewn together
from the foreskins of finck, lohner, vrenna, and (of course!) reznor,
plus a little scrap from chris vrenna's head left over from the backstage
surgery following the mike stand thing.  I've found that I have to
massage the album a little to make it swell up to the proper size to fit
the Digital Human Skin player* that I got from that Technology Tent they
had at Woodstock 94, but once I've got my bootleg excited I just add a
little lubricant and slide it into the simulated vaginal opening on my
Skin Player and the player does the rest.  I needed an anal opening and
some KY for the b-sides though. . .

* note: this is not the same as a Human Skin Digital player--that
operates exclusively on fingers and extremeties

Well, without further delay (or wasted bandwidth) here ya go:

Dildos & Reflexes  (SD + G) Belew Moon Records

1.  Down On It                                              44:35
2.  Sodomized                                               25:44
3.  Kinda I Sorta Thought At One Time That I Might 
  Have Wanted To But I Just Can't Seem To Get It Right     136:43
4.  Twist (Perversion)                                      34:47
5.  Down On It (Big Hole Mix)                               40:08
6.  Sucked (Live)                                           35:25
7.  Sauerkraut (Original)                                   16:29
8.  Down On It (Demo)                                       84:01
9.  Head (Perversion) Flood Me Mix                          35:50
10. In (Blown Condom Edit)                                  23:33
11. Head For My Hole (Ho-Mo Mix)                            58:24
12. Squish (It's Not In Edit)                               23:59
13. Sucked (Demo)                                           33:49
14. Down On It (Foreskin Mix)                               72:55
                                                           ------
                                                           666:31

Tracks 1-4 are NOT the same as the versions on PUREST FILLING
Track 7 was later produced by the group A Couple Homophobic Studio
Engineers**
Tracks 8 and 13 are instructional videos set to music
Track 13 was recorded with "pudface," a collaberation of BFPT fans that
follows 
  Trent around and try to have sex with him.  You can usually spot
members of
  pudface by their distinctive "Fist Me" shirts. . .

**You may remember that this group once made a derogatory comment about
gays leading reznor to hide homosexual pornography all over the studio

I noticed when hooking the spare butt plug from my Skin Player to my
monitor that this boot is actually in SD + G (skin disc + graphics)
format and most of the tracks included video footage of sorts.  Also, I
think the label has something to do with adrian belew.  As you all know,
belew did some guitar demos for trent in his home while he was working on
the new album for his side project nine inch nails, the downward spiral. 
What those interviews don't tell you is that trent actually invited
adrian over in an effort to try to get him into bed because he is, in
fact, fascinated more by mr. belew's ass than his guitar work.  At
several points in track 2, for example, the video showed trent poking
adrian in the butt with a salami when the latter wasn't looking and then
blaming it on chris vrenna who subsequently got the shit beat out of him
by belew and a mike stand.  Also, I think the song features samples
recorded by the DAT mike (it was in the salami) that trent eventually
worked up adrian's ass while he was beating the shit out of podboy. . .

Here's kinda a run-through on the tracks:

1.  an early version of that old classic BFPT tune we know so well.  It's
pretty standard.  The film is of trent as a kid experimenting with
objects around his home while his parents are gone.  I thought the
stapler was a bit extreme though. . .

2.  this was more or less mentioned above.  Again, I think this song has
been discussed before, though due to the nature of the film I think the
lyrics are sorta dedicated to adrian.  This is pretty different from the
final recorded version: new samples and more of that "slapping" sound
that trent recorded by hooking a DAT mike to his scrotum while doing
podboy dog style.

3.  I don't know why this is on here to be honest.  It's just over two
hours of studio recordings of the well-known PHM song that gave trent so
many problems.  It's sorta a collage of different attempts at the song
linked together with trent getting pissed and throwing things at chris
vrenna.  The video is made up of footage from monty python's search for
the holy grail when sir lancelot keeps running up the swamp castle over
and over again. . .

4.  This is a different version of the song "kingfinger" (which is of
course about a guy trent picked up on at a bar who had very large hands
and spent all night fingering mr. reznor's rear end).  The lyrics have
been modified and the chorus now repeats "twist twist twist" to describe
a kinkier sex act.  The hamburger helper glove starred in this video. . .

5.  A very nice remix of down on it.  You can hear trent in the
background bragging about all of the objects he could fit in his rectum. 
The video looked basically the same, but I think this part of my SD kept
getting a blood clot from the vrenna-head-scrap caught in the Skin Player
so the video was poor quality at times.  There did appear to be internal
footage of our hero for a point though as he apparently grabbed the
camera and began inserting it into his ass.

6.  This was recorded live as trent swallowed a micro camera and finck
proceeded to suck it out of him.  I think this is where trent got the
idea for the pinion video.  The film is similar in fashion, with trent
swallowing the cam and it running throughout his insides.  Then at the
end, robin, tied in chains, sucks the camera out as trent orgasms and
semen dribbles from the corners of his mouth.

7.  "Sauerkraut" was written about how one time trent came on a pile of
cabbage and left it to ferment in his fridge for a while before sneaking
it into steve gottlieb's lunch.  This song had to be re-recorded later by
ACSSE because trent kept giggling throughout it and couldn't make it all
the way through the song.  The video just shows the aforementioned
cabbage as trent cums on it and sticks it in the fridge.  The camera is
in the fridge with the treated cabbage and the light goes out as the door
closes.  Most of the film after this is just black (no video?) but at a
couple points trent opens the fridge door and you see him start laughing.
 One time he just loses it and starts rolling around on the floor.  He
comes back a couple times to show his friends and you see about 10 faces
peering into the fridge and pointing.  The outro is steve gottlieb in his
office eating the "sauerkraut" while trent and a scaffold-full of
onlookers pose as window washers and peek through his office window. . .

8.  This is basically a video about how to have anal sex and features
trent and the band in a number of weird positions while a rough version
of "down on it" plays in the background.  It appears to have been
designed for educational purposes, as several times during the film a
"pop quiz" shows up and asks a multiple choice question about the topics
in the film, kinda like those old movies most of us saw about CPR and the
heimlich maneuver and stuff. . .

9.  A slightly shorter version of "head for my hole" where trent sounds
even hornier than usual.  The video is selected footage from the regular
"hfmh" vid, but makes lots of use of the scene where trent puts on the
"puppy dog eyes" and points at his butt. . .

10. An altered version from the original "in" where trent fucks robin,
but this time his rubber blows and he panics and pulls out too quick,
causing finck to howl in pain.  As usual, trent blames vrenna and podboy
gets the shit beat out of him. . .

11. A really tripped out version of "hfmh" with whispering.  There's no
video to this.  Instead, the footage is taken up by old "bullwinkle"
re-runs.  At the end, trent whispers "you know, you know what you want. .
."

12. This is just a shorter version of "squish."  Like before, it shows
the band members taking turns trying to sit on reznor's erect penis but
none of them can get it in.  Instead, they all just squish it and trent
gets pissed and mutters something about "i want to, but i can't get ass."

13. This is another instructional video like track 8.  The quizes are a
little easier on this one though. . .

14. The last track is just a remix with trent fantasizing about doing it
with someone who is uncircumsized.

All in all, I'd say the piece is a good listen.  Let me know if anyone
has an audio/video cable compatible with a Sony SD-69 Digital Human Skin
player and I'll try to make dubs.  For audio only I'll need 8 90min tapes
($80) and for video I'll need 6 120min tapes ($120).

Buck Satan.

